Humanity

i had one friend in high school, recently he hung himself with string.
his note said
"if livin' is the problem, well that's just baffling."
and at the wake i waited around to see my ex first love
and i barely recognized her, but i knew exactly what she was thinking of.
we sat quietly in the corner whispering close about loss
and i remembered why i loved her, and i asked her why i drove her off.

she said
"the slow fade of love
its soft edge might cut you.
and our poor friend, Jim
well he just lived within
the slow fade of love."

a woman calls my house once a week; she's always selling things.
some charity, a phone plan, a subscription to a magazine
and as i turned her down (i always do), there was something trembling in her voice.
i said
"hey, what troubles you?"
she said
"i'm surprised you noticed.
well, my husband, he's leaving, and i can't convince him to stay.
and he'll take our daughter with him, she wants to go with him anyway.
i'm sorry i'm hard to live with, living is the problem for me.
i'm selling people things they don't want when i don't know what you need."

he said "the slow fade of love
and its mist might choke you.
it's my gradual descent
into a life i never meant.
it's the slow fade of love."

i was driving south of Melrose; i happened upon my old lover's old house.
i found myself staring at the closed up door like the day she threw me out.
"Dianna, Dianna, Dianna i would die for you.
i'm in love with you completely, i'm afraid that's all i can do."
she said
"you can sleep upon my doorstep, you can promise me indifference, Jim
but my mind is made up, and i'll never let you in again."

for the slow fade of love
it might hit you from below
it's your gradual descent
into a life you never meant
it's the slow fade of love.

Rilo Kiley, A Man/Me/Then Jim

Brokenness. Loss. Life. Lessons. Something More.

Love. Angel. Music. Football.

Alright. Lots of time since the last post. And a few significant things have happened.

1. Two very close friends [Chris and E.A.] got 'hitched'. I was one of the groomsmen, and very honored to be a part of the ceremonies. Lots of friends came. People said I looked positively smashing, which confirmed my deep inner suspicion. People also said I looked cute. For that, I only need to thank Kate, the (also cute, in a four year-old kind of way) flower girl who, along with Kelly, the bridesmaid I was paired with, I had the great honor of leading offstage to conclude the ceremony. Anything for the sake of looking 'cute.'

2. An event much less significant than the wedding of two of my best friends, I had the opportunity to see Pat McGee Band and Vertical Horizon in concert last night at The Handlebar here in Greenville. For those of you who don't remember, Vertical Horizon was that cool foursome who had a couple hits in 2000 and 2001 with Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning), You're A God and, of course, Everything You Want. Pat McGee Band has been around for quite a long time, like Vertical, but isn't as popularly known quite yet. Definitely check them out, though.

Next up on the list of concerts: Coldplay on September 9 (the first move-in day for upperclassmen here at Furman) in Charlotte, U2 on November 18 in Atlanta, and maybe another Switchfoot concert if they come close to Georgia or the Carolinas. Yes, my friends, I just might be broke - and failing a few classes - by December.

In other news, it is high time fall came around. Fall, especially the months from September through December, is undoubtedly my favorite time of year. Why, you ask? College football, my friends. Why else? Especially since Furman is ranked #1 in Division I-AA this year by Sports Illustrated.

But, of course, there are many other things that make Furman great, especially in the fall. It seems as if, at least at Furman, the fall is packed with numerous events. Plus, the scenery here isn't too bad, either. Something about falling orange, brown and yellow leaves and cool weather in the mountains lets you know one thing: There is a Creator, and the job he did was very good. It's a shame that this is my last year to fully experience what goes on here as an actual student. The three years I already have spent here have flown by, much quicker than I would have liked. Hopefully, I'll get a chance this year to soak up things, meditate (or ruminate) more on life so far, and really wrap up my time here in a good way.